Trust is Hard to Regain
by Flyer without Wings
Summary: The Flock kicked Max out a year ago,saying that she was a bad leader and she has been surviving in a kind of emotional limbo ever since. Now they want her back, but can she forgive them? Can she trust them? Eventual pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, just the plot**

Another group of Flyboys flew at me. I dispatched them and moved on. This was a weekly occurrence ever since I was kicked out of the Flock. I had become an efficient fighter but I was only fighting so I didn't have to go back to the School. Here I was numb, there I would be in pain again.

_Flashback_

"_Max, we have had too many close calls. It is obvious that you are just trying to take risks so you can have a thrill like when you fought Itex. We don't want you anymore." Angel sneered._

"_Who's we?" I asked. I loved her, what was she doing to me?_

"_The rest of the Flock." The little twit smiled. Actually smiled at that._

_I looked at the rest of the Flock. None of them would meet my eyes, not even Fang. _

"_All of you?" They nodded slowly without looking up. Finally, Fang looked up._

"_Max, I…" I cut him off._

"_I don't want to hear it." I could tell when Angel used her power to convince people to do things and this wasn't one of those times. _

_I turned to everyone else. "Fine. Since you feel that I am no longer your leader, I assume that I am no longer needed. I will leave immediately. I hope you all do well." I could feel the tears burning in my eyes but I refused to give them the satisfaction. I would not show weakness to them. I would be their strong Max as long as I was in front of them. _

_I turned, snapping open my wings in the same movement. I took off quickly flying away. I didn't know where, just away._

_I could hear Fang call after me, "Max, wait!" I ignored him and flew off towards the setting sun. Funny, in all the stories and movies, the setting sun always signals the happy end. But there was no happy end for me._

I snapped out of my thoughts. There was no time for that. It had been a year and the pain had slowly faded into numbness. I hadn't been captured, the Voice hadn't visited me, and I was surviving. I was fulfilling my purpose. That was all I required.

**Short beginning I know, but it will get better. Please review.**

**Flyer**


	2. Found

**Chapter 2**

I rose early as usual and continued to walk through the forest. There was no point in flying as that was a fast mode of transportation and I had no where to be required me to get there fast. I couldn't go back to Mom's cause of the memories and I had no other ties to anywhere. Once I got to an open space I'd fly again. No point in getting noticed by the human press.

I had been walking for a couple hours when I heard a commotion up ahead. I allowed myself a small smile. More Flyboys. Perfect. Maybe today I could actually get myself killed, it sounded like there were a lot of them.

I got to a clearing up ahead and saw a furious battle going on between the Erasers and some other people. Probably other experiments, as no one else was strong enough to fight them, all though I couldn't actually tell since they were losing pretty badly. I didn't announce myself, I just through myself into the fight.

I let myself react, rather than pay attention to what I was doing. I sent a roundhouse kick to the one in front of me, while slamming the head of the one to my right. I could hear definite cracks from both of them. I kicked the one to the left of me in the spine cause it was facing away from me and then spun around to slam the one behind me in a swift uppercut. Slowly, but surely, I fought my way though the Erasers until there was just twisted heaps of smoking metal left. I allowed myself one last small smile of satisfaction before turning to leave. Even though I kept hoping to be killed by them, it was still good to see the things that had ruined my life destroyed, again and again and again.

I heard voiced murmuring behind me but I began to walk away as I didn't need to hear what they were talking about.

"Hey, wait up! You were really good and we want you to join our group." I stopped when the girl spoke. I recognized that voice. It had been over a year but I would have recognized that voice anywhere. I had certainly heard it often enough. She came up and tapped me on the shoulder. I took a deep breath and turned around.

Nudge gasped. "Max!!!"

All of the others spun to look at me. They were all there. Gazzy, Iggy, Angel, and-here my breath hissed out of me-Fang.

"When did you learn to fight like that? That was amazing! You took out probably 30 Flyboys all by yourself and we were losing really badly with the 5 of us!" She kept chattering on but I tuned her out and looked at the rest of the Flock. I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't cry.

"So you want me back, now that I can fight well?" I put as much edge into my voice as possible. Everyone flinched except Fang. He gave his equivalent of a flinch.

Fang waited for a beat, then stepped forward. "Could you at least remain with us for today while we talk? It has been a long time."

"Yes. A very long time." I refused to say anything more. If they wanted to try and take me back, they were going to have to put some effort into it. I didn't want to go back, but I would love to see their faces when I tell them that after they think I might consider it.

He nodded and started to walk off into the forest. The rest of the Flock looked at me before silently following him. I brought up the rear. We walked for an hour in silence.

At last, we got to an area that had high enough trees that they left a cleared area on the ground while blocking aerial attacks from above. The branches were also nice and wide. Fang stopped. "We'll camp here for a few days." Everyone else picked trees near each other to spend the night in, while I picked one near the edge. I wasn't a part of their group so I wasn't even going to bother pretending, even for just one night.

"Max, why don't you come next to me?" Nudge asked smiling brightly.

"I'm fine here." She looked a little crestfallen but I didn't care. She would get worse later.

"I think we should talk in the morning about our offer." Fang said quietly into the stillness.

"Oh, so the terms have changed since you discovered who it was?" I snapped sarcastically.

"No, we are going to discuss the terms." He replied.

"Fine. I'm going to get food then. Don't expect me back soon." I turned to fly away as I was hungry. I also needed some time to recover myself. This was too much.

Gazzy looked at me quickly. "You can find food here?"

"Of course." I was shocked. How long had they been in the forest that they hadn't been able to find food?

Iggy spoke up now. "Could you show us? It's been a couple days since we last ate."

I sighed. I wasn't going to starve them, even if they had broken my heart. "Come on then. It's not that hard."

I spent the next couple hours showing them different plants they could eat and which ones were more filling. They kept looking at me with more and more respect. Finally, Nudge spoke. "How did you figure all this out?"

"I didn't care which ones were poisonous so I just tried everything. I got really good at telling the difference and I only had to go to my mom once." They looked shocked but I was done so I walked back to camp.

When we got there I turned to them. "I'll talk with you in the morning then. Goodnight." Then I flew up into my tree and settled down. But I did not get to sleep for a long time. My emotions were beginning to try and break past the wall I had created and I couldn't let that happen. Then there is no telling what I might do.

**Hope you like this chapter as it is far better than the last one. Please review and give me ideas for I have the next two chapters planned out but after than who knows what could happen. Maybe you do. I certainyl don't.**

**Flyer**


	3. We Need You

**Chapter 3**

I woke up early the next morning and quickly gathered plants. I didn't think I would need to feed everyone so I just gathered enough for myself, but soon enough, the others began to awaken and they wanted me there to check them. It was a good thing I did because half the time they were getting it wrong. I just explained this to them last night! How did their memories get so bad? I refused to even think the idea that was hovering just under the surface.

After everyone ate, Iggy wasted no time in getting to the heart of the matter. "Max, we need you to come back and return to your job as leader. We haven't been doing near as well without you and several times have been at the gates of the School before we could escape again. Sooner or later, our luck will run out and we will be caught again. And even with Angel's powers of persuasion we will get caught again. Please come back."

I looked at them. All of them looked at me waiting for my answer. Nudge, Iggy and Fang all looked hopeful. Gazzy just looked like he was holding his breath. There was no expression on Angel's face. They were offering me everything I had wanted for so long. And if they had asked me in those first two months I would have said yes. But now? "No." I turned to leave.

Nudge suddenly exploded into sound, and it was the fastest I had ever heard her talk, which in itself was a miracle. "Max, you can't leave us. We'll all die if you go or be captured and that is worse than death cause who knows what they'll do to us now. Everyone tried to be as good as you, but none of us could be. We ended up having to fight off Flyboys almost every day and each time someone would get hurt. It was never anything big, but it was enough to slow us down the next day and we were caught about once every two months and twice we just barely escaped. Once Iggy got hurt so bad, we did have to go to your mom's and she and Ella both weren't as nice as they were before cause I guess that must have been after your visit. We need you really badly and I'm sorry we kicked you out before, it was a really bad choice, but you have to give us a chance."

I looked at Nudge as she talked. She had grown up a lot in the past year. Some remote part of me was a little sad that I had missed it all. But the rest of me was pretty unmoved. "I gave you a year of chances. You didn't take any of them. I didn't try to hide where I was, but you never came. It was not until you decided I was useful that you wanted to come back. So, my answer is still no."

Fang spoke up then. "Max, can we talk for a minute?" I nodded although I had been dreading this. I was having to work harder to keep the storm of emotions at bay. Hopefully it worked.

We entered the trees a bit, not very far so we were still in calling distance of the Flock. "Max, we need you to stay."

I looked at him calmly, although my emotions had worked themselves into a frenzied tempest. "Give me one good reason Fang."

"Because I still love you!" Fang replied.

**So, not the best chapter, but it is setting up for the next one. I already have that chapter all typed out so I'll probably update really soon. Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Flyer**


	4. Explosion

**Chapter 4**

I was shocked but I carefully kept my tone flat. "You love me?" Damn. It cracked on the end anyway.

"Of course. I have always loved you and it hurt so much when you left."

I could feel the tears stream down my cheeks. "You knew I loved you. _Before_ I left, I told you that and you told me you loved my then. But now? You are just trying to break me." I turned away but he caught my arm.

"Max, please don't leave again." I turned back slowly.

"Don't leave _again_? You all unanimously vote to banish me, leaving me with nothing. Nothing to fight for, nothing to live for. The Flock was my world and in a second you all ripped it away from me saying that I was just trying to get a thrill. None of you ever asked me what I thought was going on, none of you ever asked me why I kept moving us so quickly. And you did nothing to stop it, you who said you loved me." I paused.

"Max, I…" I interrupted him again.

"Don't even try to tell me it wasn't of your free will. I can tell when Angel is convincing someone and none of you were under her power. None of you tried to come with me either. When you stayed you shattered my heart into a million pieces, too small to put back together." I could feel the rest of the Flock gathering behind me but I didn't care. He was going to hear this all now. "Then you come waltzing back to me saying that you need me back and you love me. Did you expect me to fall at your feet in forgiveness?"

He started to stutter. "Max…I-I didn't…"

"And you don't even know the half of it. After the first two months spent sobbing, barely keeping myself alive, I started to build a wall between me and my feelings. I locked away all emotions and with them, most of the memories. I sought out Flyboys, hoping that sooner or later they would kill me. But I became more and more efficient so I didn't die. I didn't try to kill myself because it made me think of that day on the beach and I avoided anything that held memories of you. That was also the only reason I didn't allow myself to be taken back to the School. Because it would remind me of you! Then you come back and tear that wall to shreds so I feel everything again. All the pain, all the anger, everything." I was screaming now. I bet if there were any Flyboys near by they would hear this and I could finally let myself get killed. He looked shocked, but what did he expect? That his charm would make him instantly forgiven?

At last, I ran out of anger and I was just left with the pain. "What more do you want from me Fang? You shattered my heart, ripped apart my pride, and tore away every last shred of dignity that I had left. What more is there for you to take?" This time he made no move to stop me and I turned to fly away. I made it about a mile before I had to stop, I was crying too hard to see.

Luckily I had found a clearing. I tried to land but nearly stumbled into the trees. Near the edge was a large flat rock and I collapsed next to it. I buried my head in my arms, leaned against the rock and just sat there and cried. I didn't care how weak or prone I was now, I needed to cry. The emotional wall I had built up over the last 10 months had been torn away in one morning and all the pain I had kept out that way had flooded back. So I had an excuse to cry.

After who knows how long, I finally was able to slow my shuddering sobs and realize that someone else was there. I wiped my eyes and turned around to face them. Iggy stood there.

"What do you want?" I knew I sounded harsh but to hell with that. I didn't care. Funny how much I was saying to that.

"I came to make sure you were safe." He didn't say anything more than that but I started sobbing again. I don't know why this time but it set me off. Maybe it had to do with the idea that for the first time in a year they were pretending to care that I was safe. And it was the one time I didn't want them to.

He came and put one arm around me, comforting me like he used to. "Come back. At least until we can all talk about this. Together." I nodded once. There wasn't anything more to talk about. My trust is pretty much gone once you've lost it once but I would talk. Just for now.

**So, please tell me what you thought of that chapter. This was the chapter that was my original idea for thw story, so everything else was just setting up for this. I need a few ideas for what is to come next from anyone that can help. Or if you think the story should stop here, I appreciate hearing that too. **

**Flyer**


	5. The Verdict

**Chapter 5**

Iggy led me back to the group, looking at me every other second as if I was one of his bombs that might go off. I ignored it and just concentrated on pulling myself together. I didn't need emotions complicating things. I had gone for long enough with out them, I could go without them again. Maybe I would get lucky and finally die after this….

Everyone was standing in almost the exact same positions that they had been when I'd left. The only distance was that instead of staring at me in horror they refused to look me in the eye. Well, if they couldn't take they story of what had happened then they shouldn't have pressed me for it. And asking me to come back had pushed about every button I had.

"Max, we really need to talk about our proposal." Iggy took the lead. Of course. Fang wouldn't want to talk to me after all that I'd said and the others were too young to even attempt negotiating with me. Not that any of them stood a chance. "We need you. There really isn't anything else to say than that. We've already explained our prior….adventures to you and there is no use retelling all that. You just told us what had gone on when we had kicked you out."

Nudge, Fang, and Gazzy all stirred at that. "We didn't say she had to go…." "She could have stayed…" "We still wanted her…"

"Shut up. You all knew that Max being the way she is wouldn't be able to survive without being the mother, the leader, so when we told her to step down, we told her to get out. I don't care how you guys try to sweeten it, make it look like it was all her choice. That is what happened."

The three of them slumped at Iggy's reprimand. I looked at Iggy for a second. Iggy would be a good leader. They obviously listened to him, he was smart, and he wouldn't let his emotions get in the way. They didn't need me so I wouldn't even have to bother shutting out guilt. He turned back to me.

"Will you please come back? And no, Angel will not convince you and if she even attempts to, there_ will_ be consequences. She knows this, and I warned her of this because we need your brilliant planning mind to help us, not a controlled limited one. And if we forced you, the moment she let go you would leave again. So will you do it?" He waited.

I looked at each of them. I waited for a few seconds and then gave my answer. "No."

Iggy began to look desperate. "No, you don't seem to quite understand…"

I didn't want to listen to this anymore. "I said no. You decided once and I am trying to abide by that decision. You chose the path you would follow. Iggy, you should probably lead since you are also smart and can plan and you also take the initiative, even in losing situations." Everyone looked at me as if I had told them to jump off a cliff keeping their wings closed. "But I am not coming back. Why should I lead people I can't trust? And I can't trust you not to turn on me again. You taught me that I can only trust myself. I learn quickly. Now you need to live by the consequences of your decision and I am going to leave. Goodbye once again." I turned and flew away from them for the second time today. But this time, there was no tears, no shuddering sobs. I was on my own again. And that was the way it would stay. But maybe I could fit in a quick visit to Mom and Ella. It had been 11 months since they had last seen me and it might make them feel better. The last time I had been an emotional wreck and Mom hadn't wanted me to leave. If I looked in control now it might make her worry less because I knew she had been worrying. She always would. Besides, I had no where else to be. And from where I was it was a five day trip so I would have plenty of time to get control of myself. It might actually be a good thing.

**So, there is the next chapter. For all the people that reviewed I thank you and I told you Max would not say yes. She is stronger than that. Please review as I like knowing what I can do better. Thanks!**

**Flyer**


	6. Talking with Mom

**Chapter 6**

I flew calmly each day and continued my usual routine. Occasionally I thought I saw dark smudges behind me, but they didn't get any closer so I dismissed them from my thoughts. Soon, I found myself landing in the Martinez's yard. Ella rushed out to see me.

"Max! It's been ages since you were last here! Are you all right? You aren't hurt or anything?" Her eyes darkened in concern.

I gave her a small smile to make her feel better. "No, this time I'm fine. Aren't I allowed to just visit you and mom?" I could always muster up some cheer and humor for them. 

"Of course you are! Mom is just finishing up some things inside and the chocolate chip cookies are almost done. Come on in, you can stay in my room." She bustled me into the house and sat me down at the kitchen table. I had forgotten how much I loved being here. It was the only place now that I felt relaxed, and the only thing that came close to a home.

Mom walked in then. "Max, it's wonderful to see you! How long will you stay with us?"

"I wasn't sure, but I thought a few days would be ok." I said hesitantly. I didn't want them to think I would be there forever, but I needed this peace for a little while.

"Of course. Relax now and tell us what you've been up to." So for the rest of the afternoon I talked with them. I exaggerated what I've been doing since I last saw them, listened to what had been going on with them. Little talk, all fun and light. I didn't mention the Flock yet. I wanted to talk about that with Mom by myself. Ella would have school tomorrow so I could try to talk to Mom then. I didn't want Ella to know yet. I needed to find out what Mom thought first.

The next day, Ella left early for school. I pretended that I was still asleep while Ella was getting ready. I wasn't sure what to say because my veneer of control was wearing away fast. I didn't know that seeing the Flock again would shake me this bad. But I knew that if I tried to talk to Ella like I had yesterday I would probably break down in tears. I really didn't want her to see that. Talking this over with Mom would be hard enough.

Anyway, Ella left and I stayed in bed for a few minutes more before going out to catch Mom before she left. She was in the hallway just getting ready and I suddenly felt nervous. "Umm.…Mom? Could I talk to you?"

She looked up and must have seen how nervous I was. I hadn't hid my emotions this badly in years. I hadn't disguised them so poorly since Jeb first left and I became Flock leader. "Of course Max. I have no cases scheduled for today that my assistant can't handle. I'll tell her that I can't make it in." She turned and went through the living room door. I waited for a few seconds more until I saw her talking on the phone and then I went into the kitchen. I felt safest there, so that was where I would try and talk about what happened. I don't know if she could help me figure out my next decision, but it was the best idea I had right now.

She found me in the kitchen and served me a quick breakfast before sitting across from me. She waited for a few minutes and then she asked, "Max, what did you need to talk to me about?"

I swallowed the bite of food in my mouth and waited as I tried to figure out the best way to tell her. "Well, a few days ago…" and I told her my story. When I got to the part about my fight with Fang, I stopped. What could I say? I guess I could repeat what I said. That conversation was seared in my brain and there was no way I would forget it. Could I tell her the feelings behind the words? I'm not sure even I knew that. But, I'd gotten this far, I guess I had to try and finish it.

"When I was there, I got into a huge fight with Fang." I stood up and began looking out the window. I saw that it was spring. Birds were singing and the flowers were in bloom. I hadn't even noticed. "He said he loved me. He said that it hurt when I was gone and he didn't want me to leave again." Tears began to fall again. But all the pain was coming back and there was nothing I could do to stop it. "I exploded. I couldn't help it. The entire Flock was listening in but I couldn't stop myself. I tried to fly away from it all, but Iggy caught up to me. He asked me to come back and talk to them. They asked me to join the Flock and lead again. I said no. I said I couldn't lead people that I didn't trust. But now I'm not so sure. I don't know that I won't go back. I want to go back, but it would kill me to do so."

I could tell that Mom was still sitting at the table. She hadn't moved a muscle since I'd begun talking. Finally, she spoke. "Max, I don't know what to tell you. My suggestion would be that if they tried to find you because they really needed you, then you should give them one last chance. If they don't try, you should come back her and live with me and Ella. We both love you and want you to be happy. But it is your decision."

I listened to her quietly and I realized that what she was saying was making sense. The only way that I would be able to pull myself together was to put the Flock to rest for myself which I hadn't done before. I'd blocked them off, not closed them which was why I had so many different emotions in me now. If they did try I would give them one last chance. Then I could be whole again.

**I was asked in one review not to be done with the story yet and I'm not quite finished. Max hasa few more tricks up her sleeve. Please review and tell me what you think. And a cookie to anyone that can guess what my hint for the next chapter is.**

**Flyer**


	7. Max we need you

**I am SOOO sorry for not updating for so long. Between finals (in May), a dead computer (all summer), loading all my documents again, and a small case of writer's block I haven't been able to type at all. Here is the next chapter, I hope you like it and PLEASE REVIEW!! Thanks so much.**

**Flyer**

**Chapter 7**

I stayed for a few more days to allow myself time to really visit with them. Ella complained about homework, and mooned over a guy at school, trashed her least favorite teachers, repeated funny conversations she had had with her friends. It was so normal, and so out of reach for me. I loved to listen to it. I had never had any friends beyond the Flock, or had any teachers beyond the scientists, and I knew that even if I did, it would never be with the same lightheartedness as Ella. I had seen too much dark, and too much loss to ever be that way. Mom was always there for me and could tell when I would start losing control, because I couldn't always keep a lid on all the things I was feeling. Then she would distract Ella with something, or ask me to go do something so that I could try to get control of myself again, but she never made a fuss about it. It was exactly what I needed.

After a week, I was feeling restless so I told Mom and Ella that I was going to move on. I also wanted to at least be out of the house before the Flock caught up to me in case they were sincere in their offer. I took the little packet of food (and snuck in extra chocolate chip cookies, I had definitely been missing those) and flew off in the general direction of the desert. I hadn't been there in a long time, and I wanted the clean openness of it, the safety in being able to watch anything that was coming, and the company of the graceful and deadly hawks. I also hadn't been out of the forest in a year and I needed a change. A small voice asked me if I was running away to a place where I had been happy with the Flock, but I ignored it and kept flying. If only I had been playing attention, I would have noticed the eyes that watched me flying away.

I got to the old cave, and let myself really feel for the first time in a year. The memories of the good times came rushing back, and I could feel all that I had lost on that one afternoon. The tears came again, unbidden, but after I felt better, cleaner, lighter. I could fly with the hawks, and it didn't hurt so much anymore. I quickly found food and created a stockpile, I felt at peace for once and I wanted to stay for a while. Maybe I deserved a little happiness.

Again a week passed before anything happened. Afterward, I kept wishing that it had maybe happened slowly, if it had to have happened, but that doesn't change what happened. I woke up one morning, feeling lazy, thinking that maybe I should go for a quick flight to wake myself up. That was when I heard the scream.

I dashed out of the cave and waited, because the noise had stopped and I couldn't find where it had gone. I heard it again, and I quickly started to search for whoever was in danger. I may have been on my own for a year, but it wasn't just a search and destroy that whole time. I did do a few rescues to make sure my skills were sharp. I just never stuck around.

I finally got to the source of the scream, and the sight that greeted me stopped even my just beating heart.

There was blood everywhere and Flyboys were tearing into the Flock and they couldn't defend themselves, because they were all too injured. I may not have trusted them, or even liked them, but I still didn't want them to die. So I shut off again. And I fought.

The Flyboys weren't expecting another attacker so I caught them completely by surprise, probably the same way they had caught the Flock. I only allowed myself to think of them as robots following orders and demolished them. Rapid kicks, punches, and dodges soon made the Flyboys a pile of rubble, and I had finished my work again. It was so automatic I didn't even notice when I stopped fighting and turned to the Flock. Unfortunately, the sight brought me back to my senses.

Angel was trying to support and unconscious Gazzy who was bleeding from a bad looking stomach would, whereas she only had wounds on each of her arms. Iggy was trying not to fall as he bled from a head wound and a wound to his shoulder. Nudge was lying on the ground unconscious from a multitude of injuries, and Fang was barely conscious, and he looked like he had been torn to shreds. He had obviously been trying to shelter Nudge so she wouldn't get hurt anymore. I saw Fang, Iggy, and angel all turn desperate eyes to me. They knew that they were going to die if I didn't do something. I knew it to. But what could I do? Mom was too far away. And I don't know any medicine. But I guess I did know the desert after a week. I could at least try.

I swiftly found the large plants that I knew could try and slow the blood, maybe acting as bandage pads. I harvested as much as my arms could hold and I flew back and started wrapping them around the Flock. Soon, the bleeding slowed so I went to my cave and grabbed my jug of water and some of my food dividing it between the five of them (Nudge and Gazzy were given water and their portion of food set aside til they woke up, I wasn't going to choke them as I tried to save them) so then they would have a little strength. They rallied enough that I could help them get to the cave. That walk was one of the scariest times of my life. Each of them looked like they were about to drop. I was carrying Nudge, but at each step I was afraid of jostling the bandages. We finally made it and each of them lay down with a grateful sigh.

Angel whispered, "Max we need you. Please." She slipped into unconsciousness after and I looked around and saw that the others had done the same. They had come back. They had made the effort. Even Angel. Well, if that was till their thought when they woke up, I would accept. But for now, I had to save their lives. I turned to fly back out of the cave. I had done what I could, but they still needed Mom. They were my responsibilities again and they weren't going to die on my watch.


	8. Caring for the Wounded

**Chapter 8**

Mom looked up from her book when I nearly crash landed on her lawn. "Max, what a surprise, I—are you ok? What's wrong?"

I gasped out, "The flock-hurt, Flyboys-too many, I didn't…get there…fast enough. I need your help."

Luckily, she didn't ask any more questions, she just ran inside and grabbed the kit she kept on hand to help us. Then she climbed into her car and said, "Tell me where."

She pushed way beyond the speed limit as I tried to direct her to the area in the desert while in a car. At the same time, I also told her the whole story. She nodded, but went back to concentrating on the road. Once we got into the desert though, I couldn't find the exact are, so I got out and flew to the area along a path that she could follow me. After what had seemed like hours, we had finally made it back to them.

Mom took one look around and started to work on Fang who had suffered some of the worst injuries. He had always tried to defend the others. At the same time, she started snapping out orders to me. Go get water, bring the bandages from the car, make sure they were all in the shady part of the cave, grab the blankets, get more water, on and on and on. She worked her way around the circle and I tried not to concentrate on what she was doing. She had to stitch almost all of them up, but I was kept so busy running errands, it almost wasn't a problem. Finally, she leaned back on her heels and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. Then she put out her hand for the water jug and took a deep gulp before washing her tools and repacking her bag.

"It was a good thing you brought me. You did a nice job with the bandages, but they wouldn't have held very long. As it is, I am exhausted. I'm going to call Ella to let her know that I won't make it home for a few days and call a neighbor so that Ella will be taken care of. Then I am going to sleep. In a few hours I will check on the Flock again. None of you are to leave until I give the go ahead. That includes you Max, because if you try to leave they will only try to follow you. Promise?"

"I promise."

"Good. Then I will sleep now. Wake me up if anyone suddenly gets worse." My mom walked quickly over to the stack of blankets, pulled one out, and then curled up on the floor. I didn't know what else to do, so I went and sat in the entrance of the cave. I guess someone needed to be on guard.

Probably about 5 hours later, Angel started to wake up. I heard her groan and I went back inside to check on her. She was just trying to sit up, but the pain in her arms was beginning to make her whimper. "Just lie down Angel. Mom's here and she did the best she could, but it was still a vicious beating you guys took and you need to rest." She jerked her chin up, trying to act defiant, but the effort of using her arms was too much and she crumbled back to the floor. "It's all right you'll be fine in a few days."

"Will you stay?"

"Well, I'm stuck here until the rest of you can at least fly again, so I guess."

Angel shook her head slowly back and forth. "That's not what I meant."

I tilted my head a little. "I know. But that's something we'll talk about when everyone in the group can talk. Near death experiences can change how a person looks at things and I want everyone alive and well before I try to change how I've lived for the past year. Try sleeping again. You'll feel better soon."

"Ok," she whispered, already falling back to sleep. I shook my head. That little spurt of joy that had come up when she had asked me if I was going to stay was completely out of nowhere. I'll have to watch myself, or I'll agree to too much. And I can't afford that. I already know what happens when you mix heart and head. This time the heart will stay behind its glass wall and my head will make this Flock better able to defend themselves. After that, who knows?

**Thanks for being so patient and I'm sorry this chapter took me so long to write. I am so glad that I'm on break right now because then I can actually get things done that aren't school related. It's a miracle. Anyway, I'm sorry the chapter is short, but please review!!!!!!**

**~Flyer**


	9. The Decision

**Chapter 9**

The next few days were spent in caring for the Flock. Most of the injuries healed very quickly, but there were a few that gave Mom a hard time. However, everyone pulled through and soon they were all at the point where they didn't need help taking care of themselves and the injuries wouldn't need anymore care. Mom left soon after that to go home. She had Ella after all. I knew the Flock wanted to talk about what was going to happen next, but I didn't want to have to talk about it yet, so I put it off as long as I could. Finally, the Flock cornered me.

"Max, we need to talk." Fang stared at me, serious as ever. I mentally shrugged my shoulders and sat. The rest of the Flock followed suit.

"Max, we need you back. You saw what happened when we tried to fight those Flyboys. There were too many for us and we would have died. However, you were able to take them all out without a scratch. We've been limping along, but none of us think we'll last for too much longer. We don't really have any new arguments, only new evidence."

"I will stay with you for now." They all looked so relieved it was almost comical. "I will stay with you long enough to help you learn to survive and fight better. I will help you learn to feed yourself in the wild and I will lead you away from situations that I think are too strong. But do not expect me to stay forever. Once you are self-sufficient, I will leave again. I will not be your mother anymore, or your friend. I am your trainer and guide. The last time we had this talk I told you that you had made your decision and I was trying to abide by that. What happens now does not change that original decision. I'm just not cruel enough yet to just watch you die. Clear?" I didn't wait for their assent, I just walked away.

When I got to the mouth of the cave, I spread my wings and I flew away. Despite all of my brave words my emotions were beating at the surface again. Part of me wanted to be their mother, their friend. Part of me wanted to hold Angel and Gazzy in their nightmares again, part of me wanted to be held by Fang again, part of me wanted to love them and indulge them in the little things while we were on the run. But if I let that part win, I knew I would lose. I was so tired of losing. Maybe when they are ready to be without me again, I will join the secret service or something. Someone is going to want a girl with wings who can fight innumerable enemies without a scratch.

I heard wing beats behind me and I swung around to face the newcomer. It was Fang. Of course. "You probably shouldn't be flying yet."

"I'm not bleeding and nothing hurts, so I think I'm doing ok for now." He paused. "Max, I know that I can't take away the year that happened, but I need to know, can I change anything?"

My heart started to rush. "What do you mean?"

"The same thing I meant before. You said you wouldn't be the Flocks mother or friend, just our trainer and guide. Would I have any chance of changing your mind?"

"Fang, do you remember when we thought that Iggy was going to leave us to go visit his parents?"

He seemed taken aback by the change in topic but he nodded his head.

"We all tried to put a brave face on it, but we all felt like a part of ourselves was missing. None of us really knew what to do without him, even though we still had each other. We could only really count and depend on each other back then and so we held onto each other really tightly. We had been a unit. Then he had gone of his own free choice, but he had come back because he had felt the same thing that the rest of us had. We had needed each other. Do you remember that feeling?"

He nodded, a little slower this time.

"Magnify that feeling until it consumes everything and she might possibly feel what I felt back then. Do you really think that I want my mind changed? I've had a year to live without you, trying to die. What use would I have for that?"

I spun around in the air again and put on speed so that I quickly left him behind. I could feel him staring after me but I was so tired. He can take his emotions and noble ideas of trying to make me fall for him again and stuff it.

When I felt the tears on my cheeks again, I realized that I needed to work harder to keep my emotions in check. For the past year, I had only had to protect them from myself. That hadn't been too hard so I had stopped really trying. Now I had to work to protect them from others, and I wasn't sure if I was up to the challenge yet. But I would be. I won't go crying back to Fang if it is the last thing I do.

**I hope you all liked this chapter and that it moved the plot a bit. I'm sorry that it's been forever, but life keeps getting in the way. Please review, your thoughts help!**

**~Flyer**


	10. Angel's Confession

**Chapter 10**

When I got back, Angel was waiting near the entrance for me. "Max? I--I need to talk to you. By ourselves. It's important."

"All right. Come on." I turned and started flying, not waiting to see if she followed me. I flew for about ten minutes and stopped in a nearby cave. No one would be able to sneak up on us here.

"Max, don't hate the others. Please. It isn't really their fault. I'm just—just tired of pretending but I didn't want the others to hate me." I waited. I could see that she was nervous, but I didn't feel like trying to make things easier. I understood that I was finally about to get some answers.

"I was always the baby of the group. I knew that I had one of the most dangerous powers of everyone, so I was tired of being the baby. I thought…I thought that if I became the leader then I wouldn't be the baby anymore. But to do that, you had to be gone. So I came up with a plan. I would get everyone to tell you to go. I knew you would then. I wanted to just convince you to leave, but you were the only one who could block my attempts. I think it must have been because of the Voice. But anyway, I couldn't make you do anything. So that was when I came up with the second idea. Everyone was tired and they wanted to stop running, so I simply pushed forward the idea that it was because of you that we were. It was something they only thought when they were really tired, but because it was there I was able to make it grow. It would have been forcing otherwise and you would have noticed that. I slowly built it up in everyone's mind until they were convinced that only way they would stop running would be to get rid of you. That was when the vote was called and it went just like I planned. We told you to leave the next day. I felt kind of bad, but I wanted to stop being the baby. This seemed like the only way.

Of course, that was when our troubles began. When you were gone, the Iggy became the leader, because Fang was still upset with you going, even though he had doubted enough to vote. But we started not eating as well, and we couldn't defend ourselves against the Flyboys as well. Fang started helping lead just because Iggy couldn't do it all by himself. I was still the baby of the group. That's when I realized I had done something wrong. But I didn't want to admit it. If I had, they would have hated me and I knew I wouldn't be able to make it without them. We were having enough trouble as it was. So you see, it wasn't really their fault. I just…I wanted to be grown up and I got tired of waiting."

Angel looked at the ground the whole time she talked. I didn't say anything and finally she looked up. That's when I spoke. "I want to exile you for a year just to see how it makes you feel. However, instead I'll just treat you like you want to be treated. You wanted to be grown up? Since you're the least injured of the others, you should collect the food. Report back to me with what you've found. You can also keep an eye out for any Flyboys. Every hour, I want you to do a full circle sweep of the surrounding area to make sure we are safe. Look out for anything that can be used for bandages. Also, keep an eye out for any humans that may discover us. This will continue for a week. I don't want to hear a word of complaint. I won't tell the others what you've done for now. After a week, tell me if you still want to be the grownup. We will be here for at least that long so your job shouldn't be too hard. Understood?"

Angel nodded fiercely, relief evident on her face. "Good. You'd better get started."

When she left I sat down. Well, it was something to know that it hadn't been all the others fault. But as she'd said, she couldn't work with nothing. And she might be able to work with that something again. That is what I needed to guard against. Well, hopefully I wouldn't be here too long anyway. 2-3 months tops most likely to train them up again. Then I would be on my own again. Maybe I'll take another crack at Itex then. It was something to do anyway. I had wasted enough time over the past year. Besides, even if I got the Flock trained again, it would still go better for them if they didn't really have an enemy they needed to fight. They could settle down then like they've always been longing to do. And I could continue on. What else was there anyway?

**I hope you liked the chapter. The idea behind Angel's actions just came to me recently, and I had been struggling with it before hand. I hope it makes sense. Please review.**

**~Flyer**


End file.
